In The Beginning

Within the shadows of a world within a world, stood three creatures whose countenance spoke of the slithering darkness of their existence. To mortal humans they would appear demonic twisted evil things, but in their own minds they did not perceive themselves as such, for all they did, do or were about to do was/is inspired by a love for their own kind and for their existence within the matrix that is all the dimensions of the universe. To them evil was, is personified by all that craved light and that light spelled the destruction of their shadowy existence. And so it goes that all life depends on death for its existence. Such is the  snake that eats its own tail.

In a circle they move, ever so slowly, one plodding limb at a time, chanting their incantations, waving their arms in what appears to be non-sensible patterns and then, imperceptible at first, a glowing mist appears and grows between the three. They rear their heads back cackling in their pleasure at the sight of the naked pregnant woman that appears within the glowing mist. The congealing image within the mist focuses in on her swollen belly and her flesh becomes translucent revealing the infant curled up in a fetal position within. With a loud cackle one of the trinity reaches into the glowing mist, its crooked fingers encircling the sleeping infant, scooping it up, it draws the child aloft and then passes her over to the next creature, who leans forward and licks her crotch leaving behind its slimy saliva. Then the flesh of her vagina closes up and knits itself as if  she never had any genitals at all. Then the same creature leans forward and kisses the crotch with a loud sucking noise and as it pulls away, a small penis is revealed. Cackling, the creature passes the infant to the next creature, who reinserts him into the mother's womb, opposite to that which it was removed.

                                                              *********

While the telling of this dream does not inform you of who I AM, it does speak of the fact that I was a breach birth and nearly died at birth and then years later, at the onslaught of hormones in my pre-teens I experienced gender dysphoria. At the age of nine I realized that I did not want to be a boy, that being a girl would better serve me. Shortly thereafter, my father noticing my effeminate nature, told me about a story in which the message of the story was that homo-sexuals were 'disgusting and despicable' and so a yoke of shame was placed upon my shoulders and it took me decades to shrug it off.  To this day, I do not identify as being either gender but as one who flows between genders, and while not a hermaphrodite of the flesh, I most definitely feel like a hermaphrodite of the soul. There was a time that I once saw this as a curse, I now understand it to be a blessing for it affords me a perspective that the vast majority of people do not have.

What it is, is what it isn't.

My journey through this particular mortal coil has been driven by curiosity and a sense that something was wrong with the world, with society. Too often my questions  regarding why things were the way they were was met with unsatisfactory answers, such as, that it is just the way it has always been. Anything that requires blind faith to accept, is, in my humble opinion.....unacceptable.

So, why should you read this blog?

I honestly cannot say why you should or shouldn't read this blog. Any reasons I offer for either action are rooted firmly in EGO.

Why do I want you to read this blog?

In a word....feedback.To get a conversation going.

I have spent the vast majority of my life hiding in fear largely due to the shame that was put upon me. Having broken through that barrier I have seen beyond the matrix of beliefs and illusions that envelopes humanity and I believe what I have seen may be of service. But then again, that might just be ego. At the very least, let's get the conversation started and perhaps between us, my dear readers, we can figure this thing out.

My perspective is largely that of a mystic, a shaman, an alternative thinker. I identify as an Earthling first, a human second. It is my intention to explore what the rationalist materialists refer to as pseudo-science. I will question some scientific theories that have been accepted as fact by proxy of their popularity and not because they have been proven beyond a doubt. I will present alternative theories to those of the scientific establishment. I will also be seeking to redefine the concept of God that has been brutally bastardized by religion.

One of the first points I would like to make is regarding what I believe is an erroneous belief that the universe is finite and that it all began with a BIG BANG. There is actually more holes in this theory than there is data supporting it, but it was, as many scientists believed, a theory that got rid of the creator god and that sufficed for them. But unfortunately for them, the Vatican did approve of the Big Bang Theory for it does allow room for the creator god. The big question being, what caused the universe to contract into a singularity?

 In fact Einstein was not the first to have such a theory. There was a professor at the Catholic University of Leuven, named Georges Lemaitre who proposed a hypothesis of the "primeval atom" or the "Cosmic Egg". He is credited with being the first to propose the expansion theory as well as the first to derive Hubble's constant. But, with all his accolades, education and intelligence, can it be said that he approached these questions of the universe without an agenda, without a belief in a paradigm that directed him to propose such a theory as he did. He believed there was a creator so he proposed a theory of creation that allowed room for said creator. And seriously, is there no shortage of irony in the fact it was a Catholic University where he taught. We all know the history of Catholicism with science.

To end, while I have always believed that the universe is infinite, it has been a belief largely rooted in intuition. but recent research and theorizing has begun to lean my way. Researchers at the University of Lethbridge in Alberta wanted a way to solve some of the problems regarding BBT. To do so, they looked at an older way of visualizing quantum mechanics called Bohmian mechanics. In it a hidden variable governs the bizarre behavior of subatomic particles What they found resulted in an infinite universe and a potential explanation of what dark matter actually is.

 The odds are though that none of the present day theories will be a conclusive fact within our lifetimes. To say that the universe is finite or infinite with absolute certainty is scientifically unsound.

So, what say you?????